The Loudcest Thanksgiving: What are you thankful for?
by Salvo1985
Summary: we go back towards the beginning. Lincoln Loud is the proud father of his children. but every year thanksgiving is a disaster. but he tries to make things perfect. but life isn't gonna give him a break. Sam is coming to thanksgiving dinner, and there's tension between luna and sam. on top of that his daughter lamis just made things worse. good grief.


"what are you thankful for?"

**author's note: This was intended to be longer, but it became a short fanfic. still, I hope you enjoy it. the children as mention are my loudcest children. Lena and Lester are the creation of flagg1991 and the rest are mine. i am currently working on the next chapter to my mazzycoln fic the grass is much greener. though she is known as ruth in the fanfic. that fic features my OC ruby loud. i'll post that fic soon. i'd suggest you give that a read.  
**

**as for the 90's fanfic for better or for worse, I'm working on the 5th chapter. i'll try to finish it before thanksgiving. though it probably won't. but we shall see. to know what my oc's look like just go to deviant art and go to my gallery under tmntfan85. **

* * *

Lincoln spend all night cooking the turkey. making sure the juices didn't overflow and smoke the house. but it did anyway. like it always did. he always bought big fat heavy turkeys. and he always made damn sure they were juicy as fuck. something his father taught him. ya know before he was disowned. no, he wasn't gay. he just made it with his sisters except for luan who became a mountain woman, living off the land. after so long with benny, and after they broke up, she became a bit... weird. gave up the joke shit and just moved up to become this weird-ass hermit. but he digresses.

so after a long night, he went to bed for a nap. and he had a fucked-up nightmare. he had kids with his sisters, but they weren't his, some girls name Lyra, lacey, Lupa, Loan, some others he can't remember. but it was fucking horrible.

they all tried to have sex with him. lupa was the worse. as she was inches away of raping him. when he awoke, he thank god it was all a dream. the idea of another universe where there was a version of himself having sex with his own kids was enough to make him puke. IF there was a universe like that...

he stopped himself from thinking too much on that dream. for one thing, he was skinny and dorky. while he himself built muscular due to trying to distract himself from his break up from Stella and girl Jordan and yeah, even ronnie. before luna and lucy had him take a sinful path.

he was alone and he could hear his family downstairs. getting up he got dressed and stopped to see a photo of himself and his real children. lamis, Lugosi, Lester, ruby, Lali, Lena, larry, Leela.

he sighed as he fit his muscular body in a brown shut and orange tie. before putting matching slacks and some dress shoes. before coming down to the hustle and bustle.

luna and leni were preparing the rest of the side dishes, Lori was setting up with a table with Lynn. and lucy was fitting Lugosi into a black little boy suit. lamis and ruby were watching the Macy's parade.

coming down he was greeted by Mazzy who came out of nowhere and groped his firm buns. he yelped and turned to see her shit-eating grin. he sighed at her before she kissed his cheek.

"sup, stud? slept well?"

he opened his mouth but then nodded. Mazzy was a free spirit and someone he could really relax with. she was just a good woman and a good mother and wife to boot.

"I had a nightmare, but I'm good"

Mazzy nodded and cupped his cheek.

"well, you're up now, now c'mon. we got a lot of work to do. luna just pulled out the turkey since it was smoking the house"

sure enough, the house was smokey and the front and back door was opened. he sighed and went into the kitchen to check out the turkey. already lucy was taking pictures of the bird. and it did look good. thank god. he walked over and grabbed a baster and began to suck the juices before pouring it over the bird.

"looks like it's gonna be a juicy one love"

Luna said as she hugged around his waist. he smirked.

"It sure is."

lucy gestured with a finger.

"we better prepare for your ex sam is coming"

said the goth to the former rocker.

sam sharp. he shuddered. no matter what, sam and luna hadn't had a good friendship ever since the breakup. mind you sam was the one who left her. and that lead her to eye him. and that week was the same shit with him. a girl breaking up with him, both were in the same boat. they swore never to leave each other's side as brother and sister and so much more and then they had sex and boom. lamis was born. he knew this was gonna be a long thanksgiving.

* * *

Lamis was five years old and had a one-sided ponytail. she wore a purple shirt with overalls. her brother who was like seven was all dressed nicely in a suit. her brother Lugosi, three was dressed in a black little tux, ruby six was in a pink dress and wore pigtails.

of course, there was Lali age seven and Lena age six who came over. aunt Lori brought their new addition to the family two years old larry loud. Leela loud, daughter of Lincoln and Lynn was reading a book.

the old loud house was full of life. her mother and her aunts busy themselves with making preparations. the only persons that came beside her family were sam sharp and chunk. and their daughter Maxine. Maxine was the oldest if only by two years older than lamis. lamis didn't like her much cause she was too loud.

in fact, her siblings were all too loud. and the only one who wasn't was Lester. and she took his hand and lead him away from the chaos so they could find a place where it was quiet. Lester was her big brother and so a bond was forged at an early age. they played doctor or ghostbusters. and they took baths together.

and so it came naturally that they depended on each other. for comfort, for play, and to take naps on rainy days. when Lester was upset, she was there for him. when lamis needed help with anything, he was there for her. when they fought and say nasty things they would separate for a while, and blow off steam and everything will be right as rain. they entered her and his room. as they were roomies. lincoln suggested it since he noticed they were compatible. right now she just wanted to lay down and Lester didn't protest when she laid down, he followed suit and removed his shoes before climbing in and spooning her she sighed and closed her eyes. she really did like quiet. a nap wouldn't hurt before dinner anyway.

she enjoyed their naps. and whenever Lester did have a nightmare she was there to soothe him. there was just something about him. yes, he was very smart and kinda mean but when he was scared he often sought her comfort and she was happy to give. and they would snuggle. when thunderstorms came they would hide under the blanket all in all they were codependent on each other in so many ways. she was just happy to have him all to herself though. she didn't say it. but she did. and sometimes she really hoped they would stay together forever

* * *

Luna was nervous. and she had every right to be. she and sam hadn't been on the same page since the breakup. who knew sam left her for chunk though. hell, her friendship with the old roadie was strained as fuck. but there they were sitting on the couch while the kids (and Maxine) sat watching tv. now, when leni was here she was cheery and just being herself.

in fact, she sat on luna's lap right in front of her and she nuzzled luna's neck. making her face flushed. luna loved lincoln, don't get her wrong. she's loyal. dedicated. but leni kind of just filled in that void that sam left behind and they grew close.

"Mmmm...lulu"

she purred and sighed. luna gulped as sam rolled her eyes and looked at the tv. Luna sighed. why did she care anyway? they parted ways, actually- SHE broke up with her, and if she had to be honest? luna hated her. so she wraps her arms around her ditzy sister and kissed her on the lips. and they made outright in front of sam.

luna cracked open an eye and saw her disgusted face. yeah, that's right you fucking cunt. you missed out. leni broke the kiss when Lori shouted.

"DINNER'S READY!"

The kids got up and said in chorus.

"FOOD!"

The kids ran towards the table. leni got off luna and straighten her dress. luna sat up and smiled. leni took her hand and lead her towards the table. just as lincoln brought out the turkey. and boy was it a beautiful sight. each adult took their seats. the children sat across. lincoln noticed that two were missing. he looked around and scratched his head pondering

"where's lamis and Lester?"

luna gestured.

"I'll get them, love."

she turned and walked up the stairs. lincoln sat in the king's chair and sat and waited. lucy sat on the right and stared at him. he gazed at her and she smiled. she casually dropped her fork and dropped it.

"oops."

she was about to go down to pick it up but Lynn grabbed her shoulder and sat her down. Lucy stared, and Lynn shook her head. mainly because the last time someone gave lincoln head last year during prayer and...yeah... luna came back with the sleepy heads. lamis sat between Lugosi and ruby and yawned. Lester sat with the older sisters Lali and Lena.

lincoln looked all around at his family. the only ones who didn't come were Lynn sr and pop pop. Rita came though and she brought her daughter ranette who she had with lincoln. yup. things with family were odd but it was wholesome.

"Alright, who's gonna say grace?"

Lori cleared her throat. and everyone bowed their heads.

"Dear Lord, we thank you for the bountiful food we're about to enjoy, and thank you for keeping our family as close as ev-"

sam snorted. Lori glared.

"AS EVER. and filling our home with love and joy. we give thanks on this day and we're hopeful our family continues to gr-"

sam muttered.

those who were close to her, heard her say something along the lines of 'hill have eyes family' Lori whip her head and snapped.

"you have something to say you cheating cunt?!"

chunk sighed and glared at his wife, sam.

"Please, can we keep things civil?"

lincoln begged.

Lori sneered at sam and turned her head.

"let's just fucking eat."

lincoln nodded. and he turned his head and smiled at his kids.

"Okay, kids,"

he said.

"tell us what you are thankful for."

Lali whose hair was similar to her mother's save for pigtails raised a finger.

"well, I'm thankful fo-"

Suddenly Lamis raised her hands wide open and said loudly.

"I'M THANKFUL FOR AUNTIE SAM FOR CHEATING ON MAMA!"

The adults' eyes widen.

"IF SHE DIDN'T MAMA AND PAPA WOULDN'T HAVE ME!"

Lincoln's face turned white. each older sibling stared in horror. luna turned and had a nervous smile as she looked at her ex who glared at her.

"eh..heh..heh...kids say the darndest things, eh?"

Luna seriously needed to stop talking to lamis when luna got into a rant. because she said some things about sam. a lot of bad things and well... she had hoped lamis wouldn't say anything...but kids often don't keep their mouths shut. Lynn burst out laughing hysterically. lincoln stared at his sister-lover.

"it's not funny, Lynn."

Lynn laughed even harder.

"yes, it is! that's the funniest shit I heard all day! holy shit!"

lincoln facepalm and glared at lamis who seem oblivious about what she said was...mean.

she had this calm smile and she opens her mouth.

"Mama says she's a bitch."

luna and lincoln shouted scarring her.

"LAMIS!"

Lynn fell off the chair laughing rolling on the floor. her daughter Leela watched confused as to what was so funny. Mazzy was picking at her potatoes and said nothing. Sam glared and stood up.

"glad to know how you really feel about me."

Lisa was cleaning her glasses.

"well, you did cheat on her,"

Lisa said, lucy then added.

"I'm thankful for sam being unfaithful as well. for we wouldn't have started our sinful love if she didn't."

lincoln facepalm. sam picked up her purse and chunk followed as she took her daughter's hand. chunk tried to get her to sit down but she spun around.

"I told you I didn't want to be around these fucking freaks!"

chunk looked at luna who blushed and looked away. when chunk, sam, and their daughter Maxine left with the slam of the door it was silent. until Lori muttered.

"didn't chunk tried to hit on you some years ago?"

luna groaned.

"wait, wasn't he with sam at the time?"

Luna sighed.

"it was a year ago... I rejected him."

Lincoln didn't look happy. leni hummed as she made the alamo with mash potatoes.

"Please don't play with your food, leni"

Lori muttered.

"Okay, can we eat?"

* * *

"I Want to see a Disney movie!"

Ruby yelped.

"no! ghostbusters!"

Lugosi shot back.

"I'd like to see flubber"

Lester said

"bullocks to that! i wanna see my little pony the movie"

lamis said. the four kids were wrestling for the remote. ranette just sat on the couch and watched. until Lori came into view and snatched the remote.

"you know we watch King Kong every year followed by the wizard of oz."

the kids looked at each other than at her.

"Wizard of oz!"

Lori opened her mouth.

"Wizard of oz!"

leni clapped her hands excitedly

"alright"

Lori rolled her eyes and went to pop the DVD. lincoln sat on the chair and groaned, just as luna sat on his lap and cuddled him. Lynn rolled her eyes as she sat with lucy, leni, and Lori and so began the movie.

halfway through the movie, ruby was watching with a large smile. lamis looked bored, and Lugosi was asleep. Lucy walked over and picked him up and carried him off to his room so he could sleep. lamis looked around and noticed Lester was gone. so she too walked up the stairs and went down the hall towards her and Lester's. once inside she saw him sitting playing with his legos.

now Lester was pretty anal about his sets. he had a collection set on a shelf. the spare pieces for her to play with. though she and Lester did play together. and so she sat and Lester handed her a built car.

"you be the police and I'll be the bad guy."

oh. okay. so lamis and Lester played cops and robbers. she scoots closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. he stiffens and the boy turned his head and she smiled.

"wanna play rubbies?"

he blinked.

* * *

lucy covered up her little boy in his nightmare before Christmas blanket. running her hand over his hair. she smiled and adored him. a product of the sinful love she and Lincoln had created. standing up she left the room and gently closed the door. turning she was about to go downstairs when she saw a crack of the door to lamis and Lester's room. she reached to close it when she heard-

"unf. unf."

she paused and looked in. then stood completely still. quickly she walked down the stairs and went straight to lincoln who held luna in his arms. lucy whispered into his ear. and he jerked his head and stared.

"WHAT!"

Luna lifts her head off his shoulder.

"what? what's going on?"

the adults watch as lincoln push luna off and stood up and went up the stairs. luna looked at lucy and was about to ask her what was going on till they heard his shrilled voice below from above the stairs.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?! LESTER! GET OFF OF HER RIGHT NOW!"

Luna looked concerned and looked at the goth.

"they were dry humping."

a look of horror plastered on luna's face. Lynn cackled loudly

"oh man! they're what? five and seven?"

luna glared.

"shut up!"

Lincoln came down, holding Lester's hand, dragging him along. Lester was upset. huffing and puffing. once lincoln came down, he gave Lester a swat on the ass and pointed.

"Corner. Now."

Lester obeyed and walked over and stood in said corner. lincoln turned and had his hands on his hips. he glowered.

"Lamis!"

lamis didn't come down for a moment. but did so after his father called out her name in a rather firm tone. when she did she kept her head bowed. staring at her feet.

"Lamis I know you put him up to this."

lamis's lips quivered.

"your too young for that, what the hell is wrong with you?"

lamis was silent. luna scratched her head out of nervousness.

"I learned it from watching you and mommy."

she pouted and looked at her father for mercy. there was none. he jerked a finger across the room.

"Corner. and you can forget having pumpkin pie."

lamis began to cry-

"ah! none of that!"

she sucked it up and whimpered and walked to the corner as well. lincoln shook his head and sighed tiredly and looked at luna, Lynn leaned back and crossed her legs.

"it was bound to happen."

lincoln snarled.

"we're going to have to separate them"

luna looked at lamis. then at lincoln.

"c'mon bro, they were just-"

lincoln stared at her. as if daring her to even suggest luna sighed.

"why can't I have any normal offspring?!"

lincoln rubbed his face. Mazzy raised a brow.

"they're anything but normal."

Lucy nodded.

"they shared the most compatible relationship. to tear them apart-"

lincoln stomped his foot.

"don't!"

silence.

Lynn poked her nose.

"so, ground their asses and keep them away from each other for a week"

Rita shook her head sighing.

"you and lincoln went through the same thing you know"

everyone turned and stared at their mother.

"what?"

lincoln and Lynn said in unison.

"mmhmm"

she shook her head and chuckled.

"Lynn was the one doing the dry humping."

lincoln's face flushed as did Lynn's.

"Should we really talk about this in front of the other kids?"

Lori asked crossing her arms.

Rita leaned on the couch and sighed.

"They were roommates, they played together and bath together"

she gestured.

"Who knew it would lead to well..."

lincoln pinched the brim of his nose.

"fuck my life."

he looked at ruby and renatte who was still watching tv. he felt like thanksgiving was a bust. he needed a drink. he walked out of the living room to get a drink. a fruity wine. pouring a glass he took a moment to sip.

"So how long are you gonna have them be apart?"

lincoln looked at luna and he sighed as he leaned against the counter.

"a week?"

luna nodded.

"you talk to Lester, and I'll talk to lamis. tell them they shouldn't do that sort of thing"

he nodded. sounded like a plan. somehow that made him more relaxed.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

she smiled and walked over and kissed his cheek.

"turkey was bitchin' babe."

lincoln chuckled.

"maybe next year it wouldn't turn out with arguments."

luna shrugged.

"no worse than the time Lester took a shit on the turkey cause you didn't let him buy that lego set"

ugh. why did she remind him of that?

"little bastard..."

luna hugged her husband and rested her head on his chest. he, in turn, wrapped a muscular arm around her. they stayed quiet for a while. the tv they could hear over the rainbow.

"I should have just stayed with you and just had that one kid,"

he muttered.

"Yeah, but you knew that wasn't gonna happen"

he sighed.

"I had no control and I regret it."

luna nuzzled his chin like a cat to her master.

"chill dude, it is what it is."

he made a face.

"at least I would never stoop as low as to fuck my own children."

he stares at you, the reader.

"what sick fuck would do such a thing?"

luna opened her eyes.

"ain't it funny? we're the last to have morals considering."

lincoln looked down at his wife. their eyes met.

"Yeah, but there's a limit, luna. we're not fucking animals."

luna winked.

"only if you and I are in bed love."

he chuckled deep in his throat. and cup her chin and lifted her head for a kiss.

"Happy Thanksgiving, luna."

he kissed her lips.

"happy thanksgiving little man."

she kissed back.

they smiled.

"let's have a quicky on the counter"

luna suggested.

"oh, luna."

he sighed and moved away from her embrace.

"c'mon! stuff me like a turkey!"

she followed as he turned a corner.

"and risk our kids catching us? no way."

* * *

the left overs were put away for the night. a whole week of turkey, stuffing, dirty rice, apple and pumpkin and pecan pie, candied yams, crandberries. a whole week of left overs until you get sick of it on the third day and most likely order pizza.

every child was set to bed. ruby, Lugosi, lester, and lamis. ranette and rita left around 6pm. leni and Lori took their daughters and the newborn son of larry home around 6:30 pm.

lincoln and luna had a little talk with lamis and lester. having them swear not to do nasty things to each other before allowing them to sleep in the same room.

with that, lincoln sat on the chair and relaxed. there were times when he just can't stand it. other times he just really loved his family. and given the choices, he would do it all over again. he just wished he could shake off that dream he had with the 'other kids' who wanted to bone him. he wasn't sure, but he thought he also had a shrimpy lil son who looked like a bad looking rock star wannabe.

"ah well. there's only one set of kids."

he held a glass of bourbon.

"and they're the best damn kids I am proud to call my sons and daughters."

he lifted his drink and sipped. slow jazz played on the radio. and between black Friday and the beginning of the Christmas season, all his worries about the day pushed back into the back of his mind he allowed himself to relax.

he looked up at the many photos of himself and his sisters, his kids, Lena, Lali, Lamis, Leela, Lugosi, ruby, Lester. and the recent child Lawrence. he made a couple of mistakes. ruled by lust brought on by fear of being alone after ronnie left him. Lori and leni were the first, followed by luna and lucy, Lynn and Mazzy.

and he loved them. but no matter how happy and content he was with his choices there will always be that nagging voice that would put him down and call him out what a horrible person he is regardless. he drank deeply and sighed before setting the glass down. he sighed and stood up and reached to turn off the radio.

he gave the photo's one last look. before turning and walking up the stairs. as he entered the bedroom, Mazzy and luna, Lynn and lucy, Lisa all snuggled together. he smiled and removed his shirt. and he decided right there and then.

"eh, my life isn't so bad after all."

he really did love his sisters and Mazzy.

and he was lucky to have their love, as they were lucky to get his love.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

THE END.


End file.
